"I Should Be Fired" Part One

I say Part One, because I am certain that there will be more segments to follow in my lifetime as a mother.

Early this morning, I was enjoying the lovely cool breeze (cool meaning about 98 degrees) in our yard and letting Layla run around in her walker. It's been awhile since I've had her out in her walker - the heat keeps us in all the time. Anyway, she's developed quite the leg power apparently. We have two sets of tile and a bunch of gravel in our yard. The gravel separates the tile as they are at two different heights. Well, Layla launched herself off one set of tile, through the gravel strip and fell head first on the lower tile. Yikes. She freaked out of course and I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to head into the house because Tom was still sleeping. I figured our neighbors' kids were always screaming so I'd just stay outside. Good thing I did. A couple of seconds later she threw up on me. And I mean this girl threw up EVERYTHING in her stomach. It was all over my arms, my chest, my legs and even underneath my feet in my sandals. Now I really didn't know what to do! I sort of wandered around like an idiot and finally decided I couldn't just have her sobbing and both of us covered in nastiness. So I made it into the bathroom and tried to tug off her sweet yet un-functional dress. I lamely wiped her legs off with a tiny baby washcloth. I needed a garden hose in all reality. Anyway, to complicate matters, I was expecting someone at the door who actually never showed up. Thankfully. I calmed her down, got a new shirt for me and just pretended cleaning her legs got us both clean enough to continue the day.

A little later on we were on the little couch her room. Next to the couch is my "project table" covered in all sorts of fun and dangerous items. She was batting the bag of ballons around while I was on the phone with a friend comiserating over the first situation of the day. Suddenly Layla looks wierd and I remember seeing a balloon in her little fist. I throw the phone down and jam my finger in her cheek to open her mouth. Sure enough, there is a red ballon making its way down her throat. Oh My WORD! I'm awful.

So I get off the phone, thinking I should pay better attention to her. Then she throws a book between the couch and the wall. I blithly jam my arm down and realize I can reach the book. Well, I soon realize that I can't actually pull my arm out. I was seriously stuck! I kept trying to shift my weight to pull my arm out but some physics law that I'll never understand was at work and wouldn't release my arm! So with one arm jammed between the wall up to my armpit, and one arm around Lj who was still on the couch eyeing the bag of balloons, I try to throw my weight around to move the couch. Obviously, as I am typing this, I succeeded.

This is why I should be fired.

The photo show the gravel part she pushed through and landed on. You can just see the corner of the tile she was playing on originally. See my cool jeep? We are trying to sell it now that I am a mommy and need a spot for a car seat.... sad