Week 1

This past Monday we had the first week of our After-School Club. It was a big success overall and it was a HUGE learning experience (= If you've been following the blog for awhile or know about Arab culture, you know that they are super relaxed about certain things and very touchy about other things. This is, of course, normal for all cultures and it isn't until you are in a foreign one that you really see these things for themselves.

Here are a few comparisons:

1. Most Americans ALWAYS want to know where their kids are....almost to the point that they are basically paranoid they will all be abducted any time any place. Therefore parents will do anything they can to ensure their safety. In the Arab world where we are, there is almost zero fear of abduction so kids roam around freely. Did I ever mention the day I was walking 15 mins to the store and a little three year old girl joined me along the way? She just walked out her gate and held my hand all the way to the store. sweet.

At the After-School Club (ASC) there were two random kids who just decided to stay and hang around. No one could find their parents. Their phones were just ringing and not being answered....no one had called the school wondering where their kids were etc etc. Hmmmm. Major issue and learning curve - kids often get left at school and it is a HUGE headache.

2. Most Westerners have the view that childhood should be a learning time about the real world. One can't always have their own way, you can't just lie to get out of something, steal to take something you want etc etc.

Here children are upheld as SO PRECIOUS and so fragile that they must be catered to and coddled. In one way it is very sweet - there is a real culture of nurturing kids. The downside is that there is very little structured discipline, sleep or societal expectations for how kids should behave. Not all families have wild kids but quite a few do (= So when the AFC filled up, I had this conversation about 5 times that afternoon alone:

Mom: Hello, um, my child really wants to do TaeKwonDo. Please, you must put him in the class. All her friends are taking it.

Me: I'm so very sorry, that classed filled up right away, I have a couple of spaces in the other activities.

Mom: No, you don't understand (.....long explanation of the child's emotional state the last 2 years) She is fragile, she is crying to me all the time about this. (All the time being in the last 2 days)

Me: I'm very sorry, there really is no room. I can put her in another activity but only if you return the paper and the money first thing on Saturday morning (beginning of our week).

Mom: Listen to me. You must help me. It isn't for me I ask. It is my daughter she is sobbing all the time. And.....

Me: ( Interrupt at this point) Listen to me. If you are still asking about TaeKwonDo there is no point in talking any more. There is no space. I will not do. I cannot do it. There is no space. Don't talk about this anymore. If you want another space, I need the money and the paperwork or there will be absolutely nothing available for your daughter.

Mom: Oh, okay. Thank you. I'll turn in the paperwork and the money first thing. Thank you so much! (said in a totally normally happy voice. No more whining!)

whew. On and on and on and on. Relentless was the word going around in my head the whole afternoon on Monday!

My favorite interaction was one like this but where the son was present. The mom kept saying:

"It isn't me. I am not bothered by what he does, but he is crying and crying."

So I leaned down and said to the boy "there is no room in TaeKwonDo. Would like to do something else? Sports and Games?"

He brightly says Yes!

I stand up and say to the mother "Look! He is fine. He is not crying. It is okay now! Shall I sign him up for Sports and Games?"

She pushes him off towards the car and starts the diatribe again and I interrupt saying " I just saw your son. He is not crying. He said it is fine to do something else. Would you like to do that?"

Then she just gave me the most insulting look and walked off (= lovely.

So the lesson here is, be prepared for relentless parents who believe their kids to be very fragile. Not sure how to deal with it, but oh well! It is all a learning process.

There are about 45 kids involved in 4 activities and the instructors are STARS to deal with all the shuffling and re-shuffling of kids in and out of their rooms the first day. It is difficult and intimidating for the kids as they don't know any of us and then SO MANY have similar names! It is all first name then father's name then the tribal name. Usually Grandfather's name is needed on official stuff but at school it is just one generation back. Layla is always called Layla Thomas (=

All for now. Must nap while kids are down!

Guess who is coming to visit on THURSDAY not FRIDAY!

  Cousin Lucy - thank you for the shoes and this lovely outfit!! Layla L.O.V.E.S. the shoes even though they are too small. She wore this outfit after school today and made me sing upteen verses of "she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes". yeehaw.

 

 And I just had to include one of Ryan. He is super sweet still. Very huggable and lovey. Can't get enough of this boy!

Catching up

Whew. It has been a full-on run since January 23rd when our house helper arrived. We have a few days' breather and then my parents are coming on Friday!!! So happy. So tired.

We just had all our air conditioners cleaned. That is a time consuming and dirty job and I don't even do the cleaning! We have a footprint on our wall left by the workers who pushed against the wall to try and hoist out the air conditioner. Lovely. It is smack in the middle of a very noticeable place.

We have been hosting an inordinate number of people who are traveling around our country or just passing through. After April 10th we have a totally empty schedule but it has been a very very busy Spring. I tell people that without our house helper I would be a crying lump on the floor. I'm SOOO grateful for how well she has fit in and just figured out how to work with our family and our many guests.

She does a little of everything for us and mostly keeps things moving so that I can spend time with the kids and/or house guests and other folks. What a huge blessing to take the pressure off.

We start our after-school program this coming Monday! We have four activities offered for the kids and there is quite a bit of interest so we are glad to provide something. Hopefully it will go fairly smoothly (=

Well I am getting tired and spacey....need to shut down for the night (=