What do I do???

It is 10 days after Ryan's birth.

Just now the house suddenly the house emptied and I started frantically thinking...what should I do?? How can I make the most of this? What do I want to do that I can never do because I'm never alone these days? (I'm an introvert) Make a do list? Start a quick little organizing project??

So I guess I am writing about being alone since I don't know what to do(=

Mom in her ever-gracious spirit has started to take Layla for her evening walk. About sunset almost every day Tom has been taking Layla for a walk to a small shop to get a little treat and then walk home again. It takes about 45 minutes and it has been my sanity. They come back all hot and sweaty but I'm a happy mama. And you know what they say about Mama being happy...

So mom and Layla are out of the house.
And Tom just left to get his haircut. It is wonderfully relaxing process if the right guy does it. Steam towels, painstakingly long hair cut, shave with a straight razor, more hot towels, head rub, neck rub....some combination of all this is the TYPICAL hair cut for guys on our side of town for a mere $5. I can't remember if Tom says the price increased while we were gone. But still. How can you argue with that? The Man Spa is a more appropriate name, but for the atmosphere.....

On a newsy note:

Tom really has his hands full now that Ryan is here. Not that he's dealing only with Ryan, though he is up with me at night doing the feeding. I am not strong enough yet to actually feed him on my own. I just lay on the bed and Tom does the rest of the burping, diapering etc etc. It is just that now that the birth is over (PTL for that) our lives are switching gears and Tom has his hands full:
-trying to figure out how we can get a residence visa for us
-trying to sort out our ant infestation
-digging, cutting and general bush whacking through the thorn bushes that popped up around the back of our house during the last 18 months
-figuring out how to repair the car across town after the lady hit him the day we were crossing the border back into our side of town(!)
-the exact sequence of getting the paperwork for getting Ryan's offical birth certificate and then his passport...all of this requires crossing the border. We have no idea how they will respond to Ryan crossing the border without an official birth certificate let alone without a passport. They used to have a 30 day grace period, but nothing ever stays the same for long!
-getting the cash out to pay the hospital bills (requires a bunch of ATM trips timed to the US 24 turn over periods)
-doing all the grocery shopping for us as well
-paying bills and that is never a straight-forward process
-write an official newsletter since we haven't done that since we left the US
-write a CV for a potential job (not in the near future so don't get all excited, but CV needed now)
-paying attention to Layla who is a total daddy's girl and just wants to be with him all the time. She woke up from her nap today and wandered around a little. She finally found Tom and in a very excited voice says "Do you want to go snuggle in my bed!!?" How can a guy say no to that?

So anyway. Do pray for him - he has a LOT on his plate and there isn't much I can do to help him out.

More waiting photos and GOING HOME photos!

From her perspective

 

I often wonder how I compare to other moms regarding what they have rules for and what they tolerate etc. Not in a bad way of comparision, more like I'd like a frame of reference.

One of these things I'm curious about is when Layla colors - I am rather fanatical about her staying just on the paper. We've worked on this and she really does fine - just a couple of times I have some drawings on the wall or fridge (=

So when she walked up to me the other day with this on her leg, I was really surprised and started to lay into her. This is the extent of our conversation:


LAYLA! What is that on your leg!?!?
I’m drawing on my leg because I’m getting married.
What?
I’m very married.
I need to draw on my leg all over with markers. I’m getting married.

It suddenly occured to me that she was talking about Henna! She has a book (A is for Arabia, thanks Jon and Vic!) that does the Alphabet with cultural things illustrated and the H is for Henna. The have a cute little ditty which I would post here if I had the energy to dig around and find the book. Not so much at the moment.

But we haven't read this book for WEEKS and I couldn't believe she remembered it, let alone put the pieces together to "do" henna on herself (=
So funny.

Photos of the birth!

If you want to see this in a larger format, you should be able to click on it somewhere and it will take you to Picasa. Once there, look on the left and you can see the button for Slideshow. That will make it full screen. Enjoy! I'll tell more of the story later. All I have energy for now (=

Frederick Ryan Carlson

Frederick Ryan Carlson was born today at 2:30 PM. He weighs 3.9 kg. Mom, baby, Daddy & proud big sister all doing well. (posted by Vic for Steph, I'm sure there will be pictures coming!)

Photos of our waiting time

Well, we've been advised by the doctor and Vic that we probably have several days still until the birth. We're trying to be patient and just enjoy the time, but life is rather temporary and you know how that goes....maybe!

Here are some fun photos of the kids. Josiah and Lj really have had a fun time playing together! It makes it easier for them to have each other to goof around with. Their sleep schedules are pretty different, so I'm trying to decide whether to get Layla back to her "early to bed early to rise" routine. So far she's asleep by 10pm/11pm and up at 10am (= When we were thinking it was just a few days that was okay, but now that we are looking at a week or more over here, we may need to adjust. Tom and I are just grateful that she's able to sleep in and still get a good 11-12 hours a night.

It is pretty warm during the days - at least 105 ish in the afternoons so we have been heading to one of the many malls on this side of town to do some walking and to let the kids run around in the air conditioning. The side of town we live on has NOTHING like the malls here, so it is a nice change. I do have lots of contractions when I walk, but then they all stop when I sit down (=

Who knows (=

Enjoy the photos!

Where we are now!

No baby yet - I know that is what most people are watching for (=

This was my last post because several hours after I posted we decided to move across town near to where the hospital is! It was quite a rushed packing job, but we made it (= Tom made some calls and we found a home that is empty. It is a great situation since there is also room for Vic, our midwife friend, to join us with her two kids.

So here we are on the other side of the border with a houseful of kids and one grandma (= Mom is doing a wonderful job of taking care of all the little ones, as is to be expected (=

We had a dr appt today and he said we are still a few days away at the earliest, so you all can pray things move along faster (= It is nice to catch our breath and get settled here (this is our fifth night here) but as you all know, we are just waiting for the next big thing to happen (=

Anyway. Just wanted to let everyone know that there is no baby and we have shifted houses for the time being. Oh, the dr also said he would start looking at inducing options next Monday the 24th so it won't go on too much longer in either case. We'd REALLY like to not be induced since we sort of had that last time and it was pretty unpleasant.

We'll post something as soon as there is something to talk about!

Cultured?

Conversation in the car tonight:

Lj - What type of music is this? (the radio is playing)
Me - Jazz
Lj - Different Jazz than at home? (everything is 'different' than at home these days, meaning Colorado)
Me - yes, a little bit different
Lj - What musical instrument is that?
Me - Well, a piano, a drum and what else daddy????
Tom - a saxaphone
Lj - like you use to call someone?
Me - well, it IS the same word, but it is a different thing - it is a musical instrument.

Can't believe this is a conversation with my two and a half year old (=

A smile to match the chair!

 

This photo was taken at the mall that is at the base of Khalifa Tower - the tallest tower in the world (for the moment).

Get a load of that smile!!

We're not sure what the significance of the chair is, but thought it was too cool to pass up a photo....

Quick little video - our lovely tree

I'm trying this video to see if things are working again - we'll see. The tree outside the window is SUCH a pleasure to look at and provides a surprising amount of shade which is worth gold around here! In fact, for mother's day we went down to a plant store to look at some more trees to plant behind the house where the sun is the hottest - particularly around the kitchen. Keeping things growing is a big deal with having to water sometimes TWICE a day in the summer! But it is worth it to see green things (=

It's a hard call....nursery school in a different culture

Last week we started Layla in a local nursery school. This had been a hope of mine to do at some point and I wasn't initially thinking of starting quite this soon, but things seemed to fall into place. Now they seem to have fallen out of place and we are not quite sure how to respond....

The last two days Layla has been unable to stay at school for long by herself without getting into a big crying fit. We just don't know how to respond. The other parents who've had their kids at the school the last few months have said their kids have done just fine - no crying etc. Granted, they either have siblings there or they are older than Layla so maybe that has something to do with it.

We've sort of eased her in to the whole process with Tom staying with her one day and my staying a few days. but she's done two days totally by herself aready which was encouraging. In my time of hanging out as we ease her in to things, I've certainly seen things that would make me understand how she could feel uncomfortable and maybe result in her crying fits:

It's hot. It was at least 97 degrees in the upstairs living room and there was no A/C on. And 30 kids eating lunch.

After they finished their little snack, they are released into the TV room for some down time. Layla tried to go in and came back out and then told me there was no room. She couldn't find a spot for her little tiny self. I went to look and it was PACKED with kids. I counted about 40! It was crazy. No wonder she didn't want to go in.

Then as the kids are squeezing in to watch TV in the other room, I kid you not, but another 30 kids file upstairs to eat lunch. I counted them. They are from a school next door and are a bit older and wear uniforms. Their two teachers spent about 10 minutes haphazardly yelling at them to sit in a circle so they could get their food. In my head I'm thinking...."duh, have them sing a song, hold hands and sit down. Mission accomplished in 15 seconds." They probably do this irritating shouting thing every day. It was interesting to watch it all play out...the teachers eventually got the boys and girls in separate circles and handed out arabic bread with a fried egg inside. Then they put big plates of sliced cucumbers in the middle of circles.

There is still no A/C, by the way. One window is open, however.....

Meanwhile Layla is wandering in and out of all this chaos more focused on playing with her new school bag and trying to wrangle a drink from the teachers of the second load of kids. OSHA would find a whole host of hygeine problems, but in reality there isn't anything worse happening than in your own home....we're just used to hyper-restrictions in our child care places!

So now the older younger kids file from the TV room, through the chaos of the older kids who have basically finished eating and are now bouncing off the walls. There are now five teachers shuffling between everyone sort of hollering at this one or that one. I'm not quite sure what is supposed to be happening...

So Layla's class stays in the TV room (the 2 and 3 year olds) and the 4 and 5s come downstairs for dance practise. There is a national celebration at the end of the school year where every school and town are coming together for some sort of "celebrate our country" sort of thing.

I've seen the dancing before and figured Lj would enjoy it but it is all still so new.

Anyway, we shift downstairs where the entrance to the school is and there are some big play mats laid out. Now there are about 4-5 other teachers downstairs all talking amongst themselves and haphazardly getting the kids into about 4 lines. We are down to about 20 kids now and mercifully, the A/C is on!

Somehow the kids follow the instructions and then for the next 10-15 minutes they stand there in their places waiting while the teachers are all talking about something. I mean really - they stand there! They wiggle some here and there and the teachers holler at them if they wiggle too much, but even the two foreign kids stand in place waiting for the teachers to be ready. Layla, meanwhile, is NOT standing in place but darting back and forth between her spot and where I am sitting on the couch. About every 5 seconds. The other kids try to hold her back, but they know she is new so they aren't trying really hard.

I was getting so bored myself that I decided that Lj and I would call it a day and just leave. As we were doing so, the music got started and the lead teacher took her spot and started to lead the kids in the dance. Layla hopped back in place and tried her darndest to follow along. She still couldn't stay in line, however, and kept coming back to me.

The "study time" is really valuable arabic learning for Layla, but again, I can see it would be intimidating. Her class is decorated really well with all sorts of lovely things on the walls. There are cute tables and chairs and her teacher is really sweet. However, when you walk in all 15 kids ages 2 + 3 are sitting totally still and silent in their chair doing a "call and response" lesson with the teacher. I mean not one child is wiggling. Even I thought it was strange. I just kept thinking about chinese and african schools where I've seen this same dynamic. They are all so still and the teacher says a phrase and they repeat it
"Who is Samia sitting next to?" kids repeat
"Samia is sitting next to Ahmed" kids repeat
"What color is Samia's shirt?" kids repeat
"Samia's shirt is blue" kids repeat.
On and on.

She last about 5 minutes in there the other day and started hollering.

So all this being said, I really have no idea what to do. In some ways I recognize that we are just dealing with a foreign educational system. This is how they do things. Anytime she goes into a school it will have these dynamics - teachers hollering, lots of kids everywhere, organized chaos, hot, cramped quarters etc etc. So part of me feels like she might as well just get used to it....it isn't going to change much!

We're just not sure how much to push it now. We were dreaming she could actually go a couple of hours every day and have something for herself when the baby is born. Sure doesn't look that way now.

I have had all the teachers and various other mothers tell me I just need to leave her there and let her tough it out. I've tried to explain that EVERYTHING is so new for Layla now, that I'm trying to sort it all out as well. She's only been in the country about 5/6 weeks and we're having a baby in the next week or two. I'm doing all this in Arabic, of course, so who knows if I'm actually communicating what I am intending to!

Soooo, I just sit in the corner, watching things, praying that I'll have a clear sense of what to do and then eventually decide when we can head home. I don't want to baby her too much by sitting at school with her, but I also don't want to push her. While she is a very expressive and talkative 2.5 year old, she still is ONLY 2.5.

I'll take any thoughts and opinions you all have (= No pictures this time....

How it is different as a mom

I don't have a lot to say here yet, but I've been thinking about this for the last few days. Here are some random thoughts:

Layla stays up WAY LATER than in the US. I have always been a bit of a sleep nazi and she is a great sleeper. In the US she was in bed by 730 unless something was happening. Now she can head to bed anytime between 830pm and 930pm and sometimes even 1030! YIKES!

Thankfully she is still sleeping 12 hours, but I know that will taper off here eventually.

She is much dirtier and has way more cuts and bruises. Not quite sure why this is. I get the dirtier part. Someone once told me that they felt like houses in the US were cocoons. Everything was so soft. Not so here - maybe it is the tile floor, tile stairs, tile patio that is causing all the bumps and bruises and little cuts (= Then again, maybe I'm just more pregnant and not following so close behind!

She is expected to say hello and shake everyone's hand. I'm okay with this....she is doing pretty well so far. Once she gets comfortable, she does big rounds of hugs and kisses and I'm not quite sure how that comes across, but it't cute for now.

People will often talk to her and not to me. Most often this is men, but it is expected to give kids attention and affection here. I'm not always sure how to respond. I remember when she was a baby that folks would come up and actually kiss her in my arms and still not necessarily say anything to me! I think there is something in Islam about being blessed if you kiss a baby.

The process of taking her to nursery school....what do they to with the toilet? They don't use toilet paper here, so are they going to teach her how to do the sprayer? I'm not sure quite how to ask that in Arabic (=

I know there is more...I'm just trying to get things down as I think of them (=

Guess this list:

• High Fructose Corn Syrup
• Calories
• Processed foods
• Organic foods
• fried food
• Really good Hygiene practices
• dust everywhere
• predictable schedule
• lots of body odor in the house if there are workers fixing things
• workers cleaning up after themselves
• workers leaving all the doors open to "cool" off the house
• workers wanting to hug your two year old all the time
• Feeling VERY much on display if by yourself in a small grocery store. Let alone being 9 months pregnant. I'm sure they were all thinking "why isn't that woman's husband doing the shopping!!" (Thankfully he does 90% of the time. asking him to buy the right kind of face soap and pantyliners and floor cleaner are just not fair!)
• going the speed limit (too fast and too slow are equally acceptable)
• having directions and street names and house numbers i.e. being able to communicate WHERE you are or where someone else is
• Justice - in the sense of "All men are created equal"
• racism
• having a place to go with your kids other than the grocery store
• being sweaty
• being hot
• sharing a cup of water with the family you are visiting

These are all things that you basically can't care about or have a strong opinion about if you live life on our side of town. Some of these things change on the other side of town, many don't.

Some of my favorite things......

This is our bathroom sink. What I LOVE about this sink area is that Tom installed those wonderful globe lights (yes, one has a broken globe but we're just ignoring that) and that stretchy mirror. For those of you who are as blind as I am, I get SOO tired of leaning over sinks to get my face into focus. This is a significant problem when 9 months pregnant..... I enjoy this every day (= Not like I"m putting make up on everyday mind you! Too hot and pregnant for that.













This is my big, extravagant American washing machine. Very run-of-the-mill for you all in the US, but these are not common here and we had friends who reccomend just buying it when we arrived. I think they had gone through 4 washers combined in 5 years at the time (= So, grateful for the advice I love this and use it all the time.

My favorite feature is that you can actually wash a TINY load. With water being the way it is here (another post: getting ANY control over water temperature in the summer) it is helpful to do small loads when I want (=

It is actually sitting over the place where the arab toilet goes. Tom's idea and installation - wonderful.

The whole time we were in the US we missed our bed. I've already mentioned this. Someone once said it looked like furniture out of Pride and Prejudice. It is a very hysterically over-done set which is VERY arab. What is even funnier is if you realize that we hunted to get the least elaborate set with NO GOLD PINEAPPLES carved into every space. Needless to say, this is not from IKEA (= We love it though!!