We had been trying to connect with one of Layla's school buddies and last night they invited us to a family pre-wedding event. They are Balochi and I had not attended a specific pre-wedding night like this so I had no idea what I was in for. It has also been awhile since I've sat through an outdoor party/wedding held in a home. Usually they are located in hotels and "wedding halls" in recent years. I love the ones in the homes because they are so much more....homey.
This one was unbelievable in terms of its beauty. Ladies in the US, we have NOTHING on the way these ladies dress when they go to wedding events. The amount of gold my friend was wearing was more than I've ever seen on Queen Elizabeth. Her necklace was made of hand-carved square pieces about an inch square and it extended to her belly where a square piece as big as a playing card was suspended. This is a gal that has me drink tea and sit on a plastic mat outside her house (= Oh the differing cultural values of being "rich" and "poor"! I'm betting you that necklace cost as much or more than our first car.
So all these ladies are dressed in the Balochi pants and long dress that goes over the top and then the gorgeous, delicate shawls/shaylas with all sorts of hand-beaded work and embroidery. Then the make-up, and the perfume....on and on. It was just so gorgeous.
We walked through the back entrance of the house because I arrived with the bride's sister. We said our greetings as we breezed through to the front of the house and into the front yard. I was totally clueless who to give what greeting to because no one was introduced. In these situations I just have to flip my personality switch to "fearless and fun-loving" whether I feel like it or not. Fearless because you just can't be intimidated by all that you don't know "Who is the mom? Who is the bride? Where are my friends? Why can't I recognize anyone? Where did layla run off to? Where is the bathroom and how will I ever get there? Can they see how much I am SWEATING? Am I being totally inappropriate here? I've determined it is best to just take my cues from those around me and pretend to be loving everything and having a great time regardless of how badly I mess up or my kids offend. I can only sustain this so long as you can imagine (=
As we exited the house and stood at the top of the stairs, we could see out into the front yard that was covered with a mishmash of rugs and grass mats and lots and lots and lots of ladies sitting around. Some were in the local all black garb, but most were in the intricately beautiful and bright Baloch clothing. Amazing. My friend asked where I wanted to sit and I just kept insisting she show me. I had no idea who was important down there and where I should sit.....no "head table" to make it obvious!
So Layla and I sat down and chatted with the gal next to us in English and I just watched. Most ladies just sat still and unsmiling, but this culture doesn't look kindly upon loud expressions of happiness at weddings. Everyone is stoic and sad about the bride leaving her family's house.
Anyway, beside the shock and awe of color explosions everywhere, I was stunned to see 6 or 7 sheesha pipes! You NEVER see women smoking here and these weren't even the beautiful ones - they looked really tipsy and homemade and very bong-like. Totally out of place! Layla was of course super curious and pointing and asking and I was trying to be all calm and cool and answer her questions like it was no big deal (remember fearless and fun-loving).
There was some super loud music going on and some pre-teen girls doing all the dancing. Layla was dying to join in but at 4.5 years old her shyness outweighs her fearlessness at times (= The music would stop at odd times and it would change totally randomly. At one point two tall, beautiful twin girls danced to half a song and then quit saying they did learn any more of the song (= I love that perfection is NOT a part of this culture as a whole. Certainly in some areas, but not in a lot of areas you would expect.
We sat and sweated and sweated and the dear woman walking around serving water to everyone out of the same glass never.ever.came.close. Dear Layla got up the gumption to chase her down and ask for a glass of water. Sadly she came back to me holding the glass so the lady had to go in again and get another glass to keep serving.
We stayed until about 1145pm and I felt bad at leaving so early. The groom's family hadn't come yet and as we pulled out onto the main street, we saw a big line of cars with their blinkers on blowing their horns and celebrating....mostly likely the groom's family. It was the longest line of cars I'd ever seen and I really regretted leaving early but you never know how long these things will go!
This photo is a random one from the internet as I can't take a photo of my friends let alone post it on a blog. This was what the AVERAGE gal looked like. That means at least half of them had even more gold and impressive looking dresses. See what I mean? Nothing from Nordstrums even comes close. And I was dressed at the "Target" level, shall we say. sigh.
This one was unbelievable in terms of its beauty. Ladies in the US, we have NOTHING on the way these ladies dress when they go to wedding events. The amount of gold my friend was wearing was more than I've ever seen on Queen Elizabeth. Her necklace was made of hand-carved square pieces about an inch square and it extended to her belly where a square piece as big as a playing card was suspended. This is a gal that has me drink tea and sit on a plastic mat outside her house (= Oh the differing cultural values of being "rich" and "poor"! I'm betting you that necklace cost as much or more than our first car.
So all these ladies are dressed in the Balochi pants and long dress that goes over the top and then the gorgeous, delicate shawls/shaylas with all sorts of hand-beaded work and embroidery. Then the make-up, and the perfume....on and on. It was just so gorgeous.
We walked through the back entrance of the house because I arrived with the bride's sister. We said our greetings as we breezed through to the front of the house and into the front yard. I was totally clueless who to give what greeting to because no one was introduced. In these situations I just have to flip my personality switch to "fearless and fun-loving" whether I feel like it or not. Fearless because you just can't be intimidated by all that you don't know "Who is the mom? Who is the bride? Where are my friends? Why can't I recognize anyone? Where did layla run off to? Where is the bathroom and how will I ever get there? Can they see how much I am SWEATING? Am I being totally inappropriate here? I've determined it is best to just take my cues from those around me and pretend to be loving everything and having a great time regardless of how badly I mess up or my kids offend. I can only sustain this so long as you can imagine (=
As we exited the house and stood at the top of the stairs, we could see out into the front yard that was covered with a mishmash of rugs and grass mats and lots and lots and lots of ladies sitting around. Some were in the local all black garb, but most were in the intricately beautiful and bright Baloch clothing. Amazing. My friend asked where I wanted to sit and I just kept insisting she show me. I had no idea who was important down there and where I should sit.....no "head table" to make it obvious!
So Layla and I sat down and chatted with the gal next to us in English and I just watched. Most ladies just sat still and unsmiling, but this culture doesn't look kindly upon loud expressions of happiness at weddings. Everyone is stoic and sad about the bride leaving her family's house.
Anyway, beside the shock and awe of color explosions everywhere, I was stunned to see 6 or 7 sheesha pipes! You NEVER see women smoking here and these weren't even the beautiful ones - they looked really tipsy and homemade and very bong-like. Totally out of place! Layla was of course super curious and pointing and asking and I was trying to be all calm and cool and answer her questions like it was no big deal (remember fearless and fun-loving).
There was some super loud music going on and some pre-teen girls doing all the dancing. Layla was dying to join in but at 4.5 years old her shyness outweighs her fearlessness at times (= The music would stop at odd times and it would change totally randomly. At one point two tall, beautiful twin girls danced to half a song and then quit saying they did learn any more of the song (= I love that perfection is NOT a part of this culture as a whole. Certainly in some areas, but not in a lot of areas you would expect.
We sat and sweated and sweated and the dear woman walking around serving water to everyone out of the same glass never.ever.came.close. Dear Layla got up the gumption to chase her down and ask for a glass of water. Sadly she came back to me holding the glass so the lady had to go in again and get another glass to keep serving.
This photo is a random one from the internet as I can't take a photo of my friends let alone post it on a blog. This was what the AVERAGE gal looked like. That means at least half of them had even more gold and impressive looking dresses. See what I mean? Nothing from Nordstrums even comes close. And I was dressed at the "Target" level, shall we say. sigh.
3 comments:
thanks so much steph for sharing all the details!! :)
I enjoyed reading this! Thanks for writing it!
Lovely reading about a gathering of women to honor a marriage in another culture. So appreciate the post, Steph. =)
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