I've lived in the Gulf for 6 years now and it hit me the other day that I'm finally seeing some of the way folks here view the world. Just a smidgen, mind you. There's tons left that remains in my blindspot.
One slice of their worldview I saw the other day was when some young men were interacting with Ryan. It struck me that even though these guys are in the late teens and early 20s they have the expectation of being a father in their future. Part of their current identity is that they will one day be fathers. It changes the way they interact with kids and people around them. I can't quite describe it, but they feel it is an obligation, an honor, a totally normal expected thing that they will get married and raise a family.
One small example of this I saw just today at the store was a young man maybe in his late 20s. Following quietly and happily along were SIX, yes SIX children. Can you imagine any guy in his late 20s taking six young kids to the store in the US? I'm sure they were brothers and nieces and and a few friends thrown in to boot. So it is odd to me how out here we have such separate roles for men and women, but that part of the men's role is to be a family-man....even more than we see in the US in some ways. Hard to explain.
I'm not sure how I could explain how this is different for American guys, but there seems to be an expected connection to other people and to children here that I don't see in the US. Not that I'm trying to bash the US. Trust me, this culture could use a little good ole' fashioned American 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' mentality. I guess I'm saying that I can see a significant portion of a man's identity here is as a father. In the US it just feels like a guy could go off and do anything. Literally ANY thing. Americans love to encourage their children to believe that anything is possible....there are no boundaries to your potential....etc etc etc
Here it is a little more contained.....the realm of social and family responsibility doesn't leave quite as much room for a guy to just go off and do whatever he wants for 20 years before settling down at the age of 40.
Now don't get me wrong, on the spectrum of society out here just as in the US, there are the extremes of good and evil. I'm not saying all Gulf Arabs and kindly father types. We have our share of incredibly immature, selfish and out of control youth around us! But I'm talking about the average guy from the average family.
There is much much more to be said on the topic but in the interest of at least getting SOME of my thoughts out, a rough draft is better than waiting for the perfect wording to form! (And that, my friends, is much more of an American idea than a Gulf Arab idea!)
One slice of their worldview I saw the other day was when some young men were interacting with Ryan. It struck me that even though these guys are in the late teens and early 20s they have the expectation of being a father in their future. Part of their current identity is that they will one day be fathers. It changes the way they interact with kids and people around them. I can't quite describe it, but they feel it is an obligation, an honor, a totally normal expected thing that they will get married and raise a family.
One small example of this I saw just today at the store was a young man maybe in his late 20s. Following quietly and happily along were SIX, yes SIX children. Can you imagine any guy in his late 20s taking six young kids to the store in the US? I'm sure they were brothers and nieces and and a few friends thrown in to boot. So it is odd to me how out here we have such separate roles for men and women, but that part of the men's role is to be a family-man....even more than we see in the US in some ways. Hard to explain.
I'm not sure how I could explain how this is different for American guys, but there seems to be an expected connection to other people and to children here that I don't see in the US. Not that I'm trying to bash the US. Trust me, this culture could use a little good ole' fashioned American 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' mentality. I guess I'm saying that I can see a significant portion of a man's identity here is as a father. In the US it just feels like a guy could go off and do anything. Literally ANY thing. Americans love to encourage their children to believe that anything is possible....there are no boundaries to your potential....etc etc etc
Here it is a little more contained.....the realm of social and family responsibility doesn't leave quite as much room for a guy to just go off and do whatever he wants for 20 years before settling down at the age of 40.
Now don't get me wrong, on the spectrum of society out here just as in the US, there are the extremes of good and evil. I'm not saying all Gulf Arabs and kindly father types. We have our share of incredibly immature, selfish and out of control youth around us! But I'm talking about the average guy from the average family.
There is much much more to be said on the topic but in the interest of at least getting SOME of my thoughts out, a rough draft is better than waiting for the perfect wording to form! (And that, my friends, is much more of an American idea than a Gulf Arab idea!)
1 comment:
I was always shocked how amazing young guys were to my girls- once I was traveling on the ferry with my girls and we were all sick and a guy about 20 held Anni while she puked ALL OVER HIM! He did not even care and just helped and then changed his shirt after she fell asleep- seriously that would NEVER happen in the US!
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