Week 5

The After School Club has been going very well. Very smooth and without much excitement. So....it was about time for something to happen.

One of the activities is Sports and Games run by a very sweet gal who is really willing to put up with a great deal for the sake of helping out! She currently has 12 boys signed up. She hasn't ever had that many because regular attendance is not a big deal out here (= Anyone who knows anything about boys out here knows that this situation is a set up for trouble! Boys are given the right of way to do anything and everything and it is just sort of expected that they will misbehave. So big surprise that they are rowdy and out of control much of the time. Layla's school is really trying to reign this in and transform this expectation.

The excitement for this week's Club was my physically DRAGGING and WRESTLING a boy out of her room. The whole time I was thinking "What should I do? What should I do? Is this okay? What on earth do the other kids think of this? There is no way I'm letting this little bugger get the best of me...I WILL get him out of this room" Or something like that.

Man. I'm still not sure what the appropriate thing was, but I finally was able to drag him from around the back of the door where he was crouching. I marched him to the front office where he sat and ignored me the whole time. Typically, the school receptionists were not surprised to see him. Usually kids who behave like that spend a lot of time in the principal's office!

So I have had lots of thoughts going through my mind like:
What are we really trying to do here?
How do we want to deal with "problem" children....typically there is a back story for every child and out here, it can often be tragic.
What in the world will I do next week?
Can I please have 5 minutes with his mom??
What is going on with this kid at home?

Well come to find out from one of the receptionists the next day, his parents are either divorced or living that way. His mom lives 2 hours away and he lives with some relatives. Yikes. No wonder he is out of control.

So...here we are. Not sure what to do next week. I'm sure his mother has very little way of controlling a child she is not even living with. I suppose the easiest thing is to just chuck him out of the program but the bleeding heart part of me (yes, it is there, though small) wants to give the kid a chance since the cards are so stacked against him already in second grade!

I'll let you know how next week goes on Monday (=

Sweetness

The other day:
Mom, I wish we could have Easter again.
Why? So you can have more chocolate? (said with a smirk)
No, so we can go out into the desert at sunrise and I can sit in daddy's lap.

Is that not the sweetest thing? 
I used to think that 2 year old girls were the cutest. Then 3 year olds now 4.5 year old girls. I think I'm realizing that I just love whatever stage she is currently in (= She is really a sweet little girl who loves her cuddles and snuggles and has a sensitive heart.


  

Layla's Hideout

For Christmas (yes, months ago) I started on a hideout for layla under our stairs. We had built a storage area next to our house to store all of our suitcases and camping gear and such. Houses here have zero storage and we just needed a bit more room since we decided not to move to a larger home. We have such cheap rent here!
 

Anyway....back to the hideout (= I had wanted a place for Layla to play since she shares a room with Ryan and he naps a lot more than she does these days. A wonderfully crafty friend made these letters for her and I taped them to the wall. We'll find more permanent way to hang them later. Mom and I worked on the curtains for the hideout and that is all ready to go as soon as Tom gets the time and inclination to do some house projects (=. She is really tickled to have her place to be. I let her eat here since it is right near the back door and can be cleaned easily. The tape recorder was a recent purchase and a real gift from God - I had been given a big bag of tapes and books on tape but needed a simple and sturdy player for layla. Trying to buy something like this out here would be impossible....they tend to just keep the latest and greatest thing on the shelves. So even though it is months late and coming in stages, she is still enjoying her little place to be!

Geat Find!!

We have had lovely bedspread for ages and ages but it is starting to fall apart and has been uncomfortably scratchy in places. This weekend we went to Dubai to take my parents to the airport (sniff sniff) I had a quick run through the Pottery Barn. Not my normal stop but I was on a little bathroom break and figured I could have a little browsing time to myself (= Well I found this lovely duvet cover at a fantastic price. There were three of them and Tom and I both liked the same one so that made it easy!

By the way, if this bedroom furniture is cracking you up, it was the easiest thing to buy at the time. No kidding. Walk into any furniture shop here and you'll see skads of these set with all sorts of carved pineapples and gold laquer. We hunted for the least elaborate set (= For such a simple, small town they know how to have elaborate bedrooms!


 

 

 

And we have a READER on our hands!

I can't believe this, but dear little Layla started to read today during her "reading nap". Very apropo, I suppose, but also unexpected (= Mom and Dad have been here the last three weeks and as usual, mom was V.E.R.Y. patient with her and along with some help from Tom, Layla has started to read!

I would give the starting point as today because she read a whole book by herself on her own initiative! She asked for help with a few words and while I usually wouldn't talk with her during her reading nap, I couldn't resist helping her get the few words that were tripping her up.

Soooo....we are in a whole new phase now! How fun. Thanks to Shaunda McQueeney for giving us the book "Ook the Book"

And many thanks to Jen who has given us early reading books in preparation for this phase (=

so sad...

mom and dad left tonight..... we are so sad )=
My camera even pooped out and ran out of batteries so no pictures of our fun day! grrr.
we only went to one mall....we are not the major shoppers like some folks! Mom and Dad went up the Burj Khalifa which they really enjoyed. Then we had a GREAT meal at a Lebanese restaurant at the base of the big tower. It was fantastic seating outside and we got to see the fountains dance twice! So cool.

So I am already trying to think of what to do tomorrow to distract us all from being too sad. As we pulled away from the airport Layla said "I wish they could stay longer! I love Ahma and Baba". Sweet. Especially since she had been a PILL the last several days! Grrr. I am pretty sure she was feeling the emotions of them leaving and just sort of pulled away from them but it was irritating to all of us. As dad says, she is a very emotionally connected girl who really does feel and respond to what is going on around her even though it is in a 4.5 year old way (=

so anyway. No pictures to share. sigh.

Happy Birthday Jen!

My lovely sister turns 40 today! I wish I had been more together to get you something big and special but instead it was a random acquisition of things Sue could bring back with her (=

I so looking forward to when you can come visit (= We think of you often and talk about how you give such good toys and books. Soooo educationally appropriate and right on target. So handy to be related to an educational consultant.

If I was in your town I'd take you out to a fantastic lunch and then try to find a great place to walk and chat...unless it is too humid because neither of us are happy at that point!

Love you lots, Jen. So glad you are my sister!!

We wanted to have brought over.....

 

We had a golden opportunity this month when a friend came to visit with a HUGE luggage allowance (= We actually had time to plan out what we wanted her to bring and it was SO helpful. Here is a sampling in case you ever wonder what we'd like in a care package:
==Allspice (saving it for next christmas!)
==Maple flavoring....just can't stand the store syrup here.
==Pants for Tom. Way too complicated to buy clothes here.
==Massive zip lock bags that are high quality. Ant problems require us to bag everything and these are SO handy!
==Beef Jerky....it's just so yummy and a favorite of Tom's. Same with the coffee creamer. We can get one flavor that is not sugar free but if someone is coming with empty suitcases...why not?!
==Kids stuff - Christian videos and decent books. Hard to find.
==Magazines! I LOVE magazines and these will circulate around in the community for awhile and be very appreciated!
The kids clothes from Layla's cousin Lucy are not pictured here, nor is some fun stuff from home that is a surprise for Tom (=

Ahma and Baba's visit so far

Finally had some time to put down the camera and upload some photos (= We have just hung out at home for most of the time and then took a 4 day road trip last week. It has been busier than I wanted but that is just life at the moment! Enjoy the photos!

Week 1

This past Monday we had the first week of our After-School Club. It was a big success overall and it was a HUGE learning experience (= If you've been following the blog for awhile or know about Arab culture, you know that they are super relaxed about certain things and very touchy about other things. This is, of course, normal for all cultures and it isn't until you are in a foreign one that you really see these things for themselves.

Here are a few comparisons:

1. Most Americans ALWAYS want to know where their kids are....almost to the point that they are basically paranoid they will all be abducted any time any place. Therefore parents will do anything they can to ensure their safety. In the Arab world where we are, there is almost zero fear of abduction so kids roam around freely. Did I ever mention the day I was walking 15 mins to the store and a little three year old girl joined me along the way? She just walked out her gate and held my hand all the way to the store. sweet.

At the After-School Club (ASC) there were two random kids who just decided to stay and hang around. No one could find their parents. Their phones were just ringing and not being answered....no one had called the school wondering where their kids were etc etc. Hmmmm. Major issue and learning curve - kids often get left at school and it is a HUGE headache.

2. Most Westerners have the view that childhood should be a learning time about the real world. One can't always have their own way, you can't just lie to get out of something, steal to take something you want etc etc.

Here children are upheld as SO PRECIOUS and so fragile that they must be catered to and coddled. In one way it is very sweet - there is a real culture of nurturing kids. The downside is that there is very little structured discipline, sleep or societal expectations for how kids should behave. Not all families have wild kids but quite a few do (= So when the AFC filled up, I had this conversation about 5 times that afternoon alone:

Mom: Hello, um, my child really wants to do TaeKwonDo. Please, you must put him in the class. All her friends are taking it.

Me: I'm so very sorry, that classed filled up right away, I have a couple of spaces in the other activities.

Mom: No, you don't understand (.....long explanation of the child's emotional state the last 2 years) She is fragile, she is crying to me all the time about this. (All the time being in the last 2 days)

Me: I'm very sorry, there really is no room. I can put her in another activity but only if you return the paper and the money first thing on Saturday morning (beginning of our week).

Mom: Listen to me. You must help me. It isn't for me I ask. It is my daughter she is sobbing all the time. And.....

Me: ( Interrupt at this point) Listen to me. If you are still asking about TaeKwonDo there is no point in talking any more. There is no space. I will not do. I cannot do it. There is no space. Don't talk about this anymore. If you want another space, I need the money and the paperwork or there will be absolutely nothing available for your daughter.

Mom: Oh, okay. Thank you. I'll turn in the paperwork and the money first thing. Thank you so much! (said in a totally normally happy voice. No more whining!)

whew. On and on and on and on. Relentless was the word going around in my head the whole afternoon on Monday!

My favorite interaction was one like this but where the son was present. The mom kept saying:

"It isn't me. I am not bothered by what he does, but he is crying and crying."

So I leaned down and said to the boy "there is no room in TaeKwonDo. Would like to do something else? Sports and Games?"

He brightly says Yes!

I stand up and say to the mother "Look! He is fine. He is not crying. It is okay now! Shall I sign him up for Sports and Games?"

She pushes him off towards the car and starts the diatribe again and I interrupt saying " I just saw your son. He is not crying. He said it is fine to do something else. Would you like to do that?"

Then she just gave me the most insulting look and walked off (= lovely.

So the lesson here is, be prepared for relentless parents who believe their kids to be very fragile. Not sure how to deal with it, but oh well! It is all a learning process.

There are about 45 kids involved in 4 activities and the instructors are STARS to deal with all the shuffling and re-shuffling of kids in and out of their rooms the first day. It is difficult and intimidating for the kids as they don't know any of us and then SO MANY have similar names! It is all first name then father's name then the tribal name. Usually Grandfather's name is needed on official stuff but at school it is just one generation back. Layla is always called Layla Thomas (=

All for now. Must nap while kids are down!