German goodness

I used to live with Terri who was somehow connected with Germany. I can't remember Terri...did you live there? Remind me. Anyway, she introduced me to potatoe latkes and to some other thing I can't remember the name of but it was like fondue. (why am I posting about things I can't remember??).
Point being, I've been waiting to make potatoe latkes for years. Really. I just never found the right moment. So during the last few days of Ramadan here, I've been wanting to take some food over to our neighbors for their Iftar dinner. That is the semi-light meal they eat to break the fast. For some reason the food is usually fried. I've been trying to find some good finger food that would be easy to make in large quantities and that would hopefully be to their liking.
Thanks to Jon and Lisa who gave me the spectacular kitchen aid attachment last year, I was able to grate all the potatoes in record time! I had a little trouble fitting it into the mixer so I called Vic who has the same one (hence the idea!). She helped me out but when I was trying to detach the thing at the end I was having a bit of trouble. Layla was watching me poke around with out any success and she said "why don't you call Aunt Vic again?" Ha.
I think they were a hit judging from my neighbor across the street who texted me saying "thanks habeebti! mmmmmmmm yuumy". Habeebti is a term of endearment here.
I'm making more tonight for another set of neighbors. My house, clothes and hair all smell like fried potatoes. ugh.

Birthday Thoughts

Turning 37 today! I can remember when I was 20 years old and thinking about how I would be, how life would be, in the year 2000 when I would be 27 and then in the year 2010 when I was going to be 37. Life in real color is pretty different from what I was imagining!

I am far less sure of myself, feel far less capable about life in general and feel far more aware of my shortcomings. I imagine most of this is (mericifully) just growing up.

I spent some time thinking about Matt 6:32 + 33 this morning.

“For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”

The anxiousness mentioned is about people wanting to ensure that they have life the way they need it. I’ve never connected much with this passage because I always thought that the things mentioned in the passage were pretty mundane and not something I really struggle with. I don’t worry about where my food is coming from or where my clothes are coming from: A. I’ve had enough money for both in my life and B. I know without a doubt that all money comes from God.

For some reason this morning God prompted me to think about what do I think I need to have in my life or what would I like to have in my life. What do I “eagerly seek”?

Being the person I want to be

Alone time

People treating me the way I should be treated

Family, friends and spouse who are as attentive and understanding as they should be

Getting the respect and recognition I deserve

Being the mother I want to be

Being the mother I need to be

Now I believe that some of those things are fine to pursue – we need them – they are positive. Just like in the passage that mentions food and clothing. The point isn’t that the food and clothing are bad things, it is the practice of putting them at the bull’s eye of your life energy that is the problem.

God is saying to put His Kingdom and His Righteousness at the center of the bull’s eye instead. So again I asked myself, what do I think those things mean in my life? I hate to say that the concept of “His Righteousness” is a fuzzy concept to me. I mean really. What does that actually look like? I can think of lots of religious vocabulary to put in here, but I’m pretty sure those are inaccurate concepts.

When I give it some thought, here is what I think the Kingdom means in the time and space I am living in now:

Treating other people like I want to be treated is the bedrock of the Kingdom. This means trying to understand other people and meet their needs like I want to be pursued and have my needs met. This is a revolutionary idea in marriage, mind you! Really trying to value the emotional needs of others they way I value my own needs is pretty tough. I’m far more interested in my own stuff than in someoneelses’.

Bringing peace to a situation not anxiety or an immediate plan for action. Again, I’ve had a hard time connecting with this in the past because I am not an overly anxious person, but if I substitute the generic concept of anxiety with what I often do in the face of trouble, it gets more interesting! God’s Kingdom is not about finding the most efficient and effective way to solve problems. Looking at my life, you’d think that it was my mantra: “…..wait, is there a problem nearby? Here are 5 ways to solve it ranked by efficiency.” Bringing peace to a situation feels pretty different than that. Just ask Tom, I’m sure he could articulate this well given that he’s woken up next to this approach every day for 8 years(=

His Righteousness looks like this to me now:

Knowing deep deep down that it isn’t about what I do that makes things right in the world. Whether things are going well or are a struggle at the moment, there is absolutely no connection between my being acceptable enough and my life circumstances. Now there may be a connection between dumb choices and my life circumstances….but that is another thing entirely.

Also, because the Lord does not accept me based on my behavior, intelligence or capacity, I had darn well not turn around and do the opposite thing to others. I had better be trying to value people simply because the Lord says that each person is valuable. Obviously, it is easier to accept God’s mercy on our own foibles than on someone else’s foibles. The flip side is not idolizing someone who seems to have it more together in some area than I do. I didn’t see many of those folks around when I was 22, but at 37 I they seem to be everywhere! (=

Anyway. These are just some birthday thoughts early in the morning between both kids waking up and then going back to sleep.

Ramadaan Food!

Bounty.....

I'm not sure why this is a fact of life out here, but for some reason there is constantly someone taking off on a last minute trip. Because of the heat and the lack of high-quality fresh stuff available on our side of town, even when items are kept in the fridge they don't have as long a shelf-life as in the US.

Consequently when folks head out on a trip they usually dump their entire fridge contents on some lucky friend.

Tonight, we were that friend! These folks lived across the border so we got the following items we haven't/never purchase/d:
Big yummy seedless grapes
Hillshire Farms lunch meat
Mushrooms
Fancy grape juice
Home-cooked pork and bean dish
Little yogurts marketed to kids (?)
Real cheddar cheese

Fancy jam
baby carrots
Fancy dried sausage that looks expensive!

......and then just lots of fruits and veggies and milk....

Tom said that our fridge hasn't looked this full in AGES! (we're not low on the food budget or anything....it is just that things spoil so quickly we shop 3-4 times a week.)

You are also seeing bananas in the fridge for the obvious reason....yummy biscuits I made the other night, yogurt, and mozzarella cheese (we get this EVERYWHERE here for some reason?!?).

A Proper Little Evangelist

As many of you know, Ramadan started a few days ago. This is a month where all Muslims fast from all food and drink from sunup to sundown. Everyone has commented that this will be a particularly difficult Ramadaan as it is the hottest part of the summer combined with the longest days: 430am to 7pm is the fasting times these days.

After we ate together as a family (Tom is fasting as usual) we headed out to a local park. I use the term loosely, of course. I should have taken pictures (= There is a very nice gate, sturdy wall, two sections of grass, a broken water fountain, locked bathrooms, a couple of slides and swings. This park has been under construction since we moved here 4.5 years ago.

Despite all of this, Layla was very happy and by extension, so were we (=

There were plenty of other kids running around and they were very drawn to Ryan - all children love babies here. It is amazing the amount of love and care they will display to any baby. Of course it is the first foreign baby that most of them have ever seen or touched.

I had a group of about 5-6 kids come over and they were asking me all sorts of questions like:

Why is so white?
Well I am white and so is his daddy and his sister.
Why doesn't he have eyelashes and eyebrows?
He does, they are just really light.
Why doesn't he have eyelashes and eyebrows?
He does, they are just really light.
Why doesn't he have eyelashes and eyebrows? See my brother has them!
(not sure why they were so struck by this, but they do typically have the most beautiful eyes and eyelashes!)

Then the conversation took a decidely different turn:
Do you know Allah?
Yes I know him.
Do you know Allah?
Yes, everyone knows Allah, He is everywhere. (I can explain this answer more later if any of you care to hear more....)
Why don't you wear a shayla? (the covering on their head)
It isn't part of my culture
Are you going to Paradise or hell?
What??
Are you going to Paradise or hell? (Literally Paradise or The Fire)
Ummm....

I was rather stunned and was trying to think of what exactly to say here when her maid who had been listening in on the whole conversation got rather mad at her for being so forward (= She was a proper little evangelist doing the 4 Spiritual Laws in her own way!

I felt like my Arabic was terrible (it was in comparison to where it has been in the past!) and that I wasn't ready with a good response. Either way, it was a good little interaction and the kids continued to play with Ryan and Layla despite the question of their eternal damnation or salvation....

...and we have a FACE!

 
 
 

I tell you - turn your head and kids move onto the next stage. Tom found a white board at an empty house he was helping folks move into and wisely brought it home for Layla. She has been having LOTS of fun drawing and erasing. We were goofing off yesterday and suddenly she started drawing real faces with eyes and mouths etc. I was so surpised. Oh, and a walking ostrich. Of course.

Tammy - I suggested she draw Lily and of course she wants to draw you and Greg as well (=

Photos of life lately

Just some fun photos of life around here (=

What it looks like to try and get a visa

As many of you know, we are looking/praying/waiting for our residence visa. Once we have this, we can buy and register a car, get a post office box, get a bank account and cross the border to the other side of town without incident. More importantly, it gives us a sense of stability, legitimacy and removes a BIG layer of stress around visa issues. These are important things.

We had one really good idea for a business and Tom had a wonderful local partner(all businesses need a local partner) and paper work was in process and then it all fell through. Apparently the level of visa they would give us was the same as a Pakistani day laborer. This means we wouldn't get any of the benefits listed above.

After praying and thinking some more, we were connected with another local friend who is a well-known businessman in town. Tom was actually just asking his advice about something else when he asked Tom to consider working with him on his business and getting a visa through him.

We were praying that God would open the doors that were appropriate and we would just continue to walk forward as long as the doors were open. There were concerns and uncertainty about this second situation, but we figured we'd just keeping walking forward.

Once the paperwork started we began another type of roller coaster ride. It has felt like every week we have one day where we are SURE the visa is coming in the next 24 hours and then another day where we are SURE the whole thing is going to fall through. That takes a lot of emotional energy.

Meanwhile, Tom gets calls from our local friend/partner - some times two a day - and has to jump in the car with all the appropriate documents and rush down to an office and watch the paint dry as the Arab bureaucratic machine does its thing. So slowly.

Getting all the documents has had its own issues - different people in the same office say different things. This is time consuming and expensive. It costs about $80 to have something FedExed from the US. It involves crossing the border and that is it's own story.

Our local partner friend is very very frustrated and doesn't understand why they bureaucracy is turning down our visa. Today it looks very very bleak. We don't know what to do next and have no real options that wouldn't involved a whole new idea and process.

I often try and console myself by thinking about all the hassle that the American IRS gives to immigrants. What we are living through is not some special torture and not some personal vendetta against us. Many many people have to do this visa dance all over the world. It is just tiring and discouraging.

We KNOW the Lord brought us back here at this time. He was so clear in communicating that in so many ways. We aren't losing hope in that....we just don't see anyway forward at the moment. It feels like we've been brought back here only to spend an enormous amount of energy figuring out how to stay. sigh.

....as if the C section wasn't enough....

I realize that this is old news to most of you, but I was looking through my blog posts and realized that I never really explained what happened to me after Ryan was born and how I ended up back in the hospital. So for the sake of posterity:

Just to recap the main events – Mom came about a week before Ryan was born, we moved across the border to stay in a friend's house to avoid the increasingly difficult border problems. Ryan was born on May 21st. We stayed about 6 days in the hospital and then came home. About 5/6 days after coming home I started to get rather sick and after four days of fever, I went to the ER at our hospital that is across the border on June 8th. That started a 10-day stay in the hospital. Mom and Ryan were with me there while Tom and Layla stayed in Buraimi. There is no way we would have made it during this time without my mom! While we had quite a community of friends here before, there is such high turnover of foreigners here that we really didn't have friends to help during this time. We felt pretty isolated.

It took the doctors about 3 days to sort out what the problem was, initially they thought a uterine infection, then they thought it was just typical fluid building up after a surgery and then after two ultrasounds they figured out that it was an abscess under the C section incision. The head surgeon said he has never seen this sort of thing before even though he had been a surgical specialist for the ObGyn dept of a previous hospital. The abscess had made its way down through all the layers of the C section and even broke through the abdominal wall. It did NOT break through the peritoneal (?) sack around the intestines. This is a huge blessing because it would have been a MUCH more difficult surgery and I would have been much sicker. It does mean I have a weaker abdominal wall with some minor things to watch out for like a hernia and some concern about a third pregnancy.

The hospital is very comfortable as we’ve mentioned before. They don’t provide food as the locals prefer to have family cook for them, but consequently, there are small kitchens attached to each room and we had a mejulis/empty sitting room for mom to sleep in just like when both kids were born. It seemed a lot of room at first, but after 10 days we were grateful for the space! So we watched a lot of the World Cup intro stuff, a lot of BBC and actually got a LOT of sleep (= We’d feed Ryan and then put him to sleep and then we’d go to sleep as well.

They did the surgery on June 10th in the evening and I had general anesthesia. I had two surgeons and my ObGyn present. I was grateful they decided to do it that way instead of just putting in a drain. The abscess turned out to be much larger than they anticipated and the full surgery allowed them to really clean things out. I started to feel better immediately and was SO grateful for that. I was getting really tired of feeling sick! My only complaint after that was the IVs I had to have for the three antibiotics! They were giving me SO much stuff because they weren’t sure what to treat me for at first. After a couple of days I stopped breastfeeding Ryan in case if there was something being passed on to him. Once the surgeon heard that, he actually switched all my antibiotics to one they knew was safe for babies. I really appreciated that. When the nurse started to poke around again to restart the IV for the 6th time I just broke down crying because it hurt SO bad. I just begged for oral antibiotics and asked her to tell the dr I just couldn’t handle the IV for tonight. He approved the switch to oral antibiotics and I was SO grateful!

So the wound is still open – they want it to close on its own slowly as it drains. Poor Tom is having to clean it and put gauze on the inside! (they want to keep it clean and open to check for the drainage.) I am told that if it hasn’t closed in two weeks, I should go back to the dr. Doesn’t that sound crazy!? A few days ago we had our one-month check up appointments and I saw the surgeon again and he said everything looked great. What makes absolutely no sense to me is that this incision is right where the C-section incision was and I have no pain with this one. I can sit up, turn over in bed etc etc with no pain other than not have stomach muscles due to the pregnancy/C-section. How is it that two incisions in the same place can produce such different results??

At the one month appointment for me, I asked my obGyn why they did the C-section. Typical to the culture here, the reason for what was happening was not really explained to us. The midwife had said one thing, the dr on call at that time said another thing and Vic (my midwife friend) was thinking a third thing. Essentially, the risk of a uterine rupture is what caused them to rush to the C-section. I was very grateful to have such a good doctor on hand for the C section.

Watching my body heal has been a great reminder of how the Lord created our bodies in such an amazing way. As of the beginning of August, I am fully healed and about ready to start thinking about exercising! Yippee!

View of life from the outside

Some of you know that we've had some friends here checking out the area before they move here next year. They were very gracious in realizing that we are in a strange state having just had a baby and struggling with visa stuff, but it was still odd to have folks observing our life and coming to conclusions about the area as a result.

I'm not sure how often you have the chance to look at your life from someone else's perspective, but I found myself being rather self-conscious at times (= It was also a great chance to share what we enjoy about being here (though we were pretty limited in what we could do because of the heat, the border and our itty bitty baby).

All that being said, I took our friends up to D for them to have some "touristy days" and to decompress a little before heading back to the US after being here for 7 weeks. It will be strange to not have them around! Layla has really enjoyed them and they took both kids overnight when we went on our spontaneous little anniversary trip last week (Thank you Tom!)

So if everything goes as planned, they'll be back in our neck of the woods next year!

(I tried to add some pictures of our time together but it isn't working. Guess I'll try again later!)